The last thing I want is for you to think me a lukewarm Christian. I do not go to church, I don’t serve at the soup kitchen, and I haven’t brought anyone that I know of to Christ. In the eyes of men, I may be considered a lukewarm Christian. I know you know my heart and I hope you don’t think I’m lazy but I ask that you present more opportunities to me to show you.
I ask that you give me patience, Lord. I notice I’m impatient when speaking with people from time to time. If I don’t have much interest in what they’re saying I zone out and wish they’d quickly stop speaking. I didn’t use to be this way, Lord. I find myself doing that with Camile sometimes too. That bothers me because if you intend for our relationship to result in marriage, listening is key. I also feel wrong for thinking about other women from time to time. Usually in a sexual way and I know you don’t approve. I don’t really know how to stop and I suppose its a part of being young but I don’t see that as a valid excuse in your eyes.
Camile wants to start going to church. You know I want to support her in that but I don’t really feel church is for me. I’m not passing judgement on all churches but the ones I know of don’t feed my spirit. You know I’m not one for the whooping and hollering found in the local black churches and the “Jesus Loves You” messages at Allen Memorial gets old. Nowhere in the Bible does it say going to church is required but I suppose deep down I feel like its something I should do. If it is in your will, I ask that you bring my attention to a church that will give me the sort of message I’m looking for. If it is not in your will, I’m fine with the youtube videos.
I wish to thank you for showing me what is coming down the pipe. For most people its the promise of eternal happiness and love that bring people to you. For me it apparently is a promise of pain and misery if I don’t come to you! I’m fearful of the coming war with Iran and I trust you will keep me safe whether in a physical sense or a spiritual one. Hopefully the former. I’m thinking of buying a shotgun. I pray that you never allow me to get into a situation where I have to use it.
Lord just build me up as a Christian, as a son, as a partner to Camile. Send your Spirit to give me discretion. Discretion to know right from wrong, to know who has my best interest and who doesn’t, to know what is good for me and what is not. I want to lead at least one of my friends to you, Lord. But I don’t feel that I’m spiritually strong enough yet. I feel like a hypocrite bring You up to them. And I should know better than anyone why I sound like a nut to them. I ask especially that you watch over Kester and turn him from weed. I worry for his health. He has good sense for the most part and I hope that you will give me a chance to really talk to him about You and Your plans for this world. I ask that you open his mind and his heart to my words. Maybe its selfish but I can’t imagine going up in a rapture knowing I did nothing to bring those I call friends along.
Good and Faithful Servant