I really need your help Lord in so many ways. Its been so long since I’ve spoken to you here and a lot has happened. Right now I’m worried about my vices and I know you can help me overcome them. I know I’m a hypochondriac but I’m worried about my drinking habits. I don’t think I;m out of control but I drink more often than I’d like to admit. I’m certain my drinking and smoking will hold me back from seeing Heaven but I need your help to overcome these habits. These habits are taking their toll on my finances but I fear it could get out of control this summer if I do in fact spend much time with Andrew in Ocean City.
I REALLY need your help with my relationship with Camile. I’m looking to break up with her and I’m totally convinced it is the right move. I don’t know if I’m being impatient, greedy, or immature, or all of the above. Thinking about how her face will look when I have the conversation with her is disturbing to me. She deserves better than me Lord. If she only knew the things I’ve done and said behind her back, she would agree. I have not been the best boyfriend to her and I doubt she’d find any better of a husband in me. My heart yearns to go out and pursue other women. These feelings are clouding my mood on a daily basis. I need to break it off and be done Lord but I need to leave it on a good note so for now I hold my peace. I pray Lord you’ll allow me to go see her next weekend in order to end it. Part of me hopes we argue and bicker this weekend just to make the breakup next weekend go smoother and perhaps she’ll find it less of a surprise. It saddens me to think of her family too. I pray that when I do it, her family’s opinions of me won’t change.
Its not sex specifically that I desire in pursuing other women but I just need a change I suppose. I pray that you place a woman in my life that is not of my race, loves me for me, and shares many of the same habits and interests. I need someone I’m not going to frequently bicker with over small things. I also need her to be a Christian or open to the idea of accepting You in her life. That is a must. I will not be with a woman that refuses you.
I have so much more to bring to you Lord but I think this is a good start. Thank you.
Good and Faithful Servant